i can't tell you what's wrong or why i'm upset because i don't know the answer myself.

if i did, i promise i would tell you.

i feel like crying rivers

i feel like crying until everything blurs

and my cheeks feel raw and red.

i want to cry until i feel closer to him again,

until i'm back where i was just a few short months ago.

god, i can't do this without you

and i know you're here

but i can't get past everything else that i've hid myself behind.

i'm not even stressed

or upset

or mad.

just drifting away.

you know what,

i am mad.

i'm mad because you're using me

and you expect me to fucking wait until you're ready?

are you kidding me?

do you think i'm dense?

learn how the world works,

learn how i work.