An Appalachian Goodbye

Last night,
I stood amongst former classmates and mentors
to celebrate the quiet movements of a poet.

I'm not sure if it was the death of a writer
or that anxiety of not knowing if you'll ever see
someone again,

but a student approached me.

I had never enjoyed his over-zealous
confidence
in his self.
His writing was good,
the kind of good that makes you appreciate
the stringing of words like beads,
but he knew it.

He approached me,
interrupting a long conversation
with two minds who had shaped my own,
and said, "are you still writing?"

my cheeks burned and i stuttered, "not really."

These two minds had never known my writing-
the lines that cover this blinking screen
or the ones that the professor we were remembering
had praised with red strokes,
fine criticism,
and honest weight.

the student paused.
"you're really good," he said,
and he knew it.

Sometimes it takes the overflow
of another's certainty
to realize power within yourself.

Beyonce Inspired

this life is going to be so full of goodness
that i won't be able to stop smiling.
feel that beat,
the pulse of certainty
not in a plan
but of a movement.

the curated life

at 23 i sit in a dimly lit wine bar
lifting a glass of champagne given to us on the house
by a manager of the attached grocery.
it's a new friend's birthday
and i, with three other couples,
laugh over how we've all come to be at this oak table
sipping complimentary drinks and nibbling at bread pudding.
at the same time my phone,
which i've kept purposely in my coat pocket,
is buzzing with talk of "barcelona in may"
and music festivals
and plane fares that cost more than i make in a month.
i stare at my wrist as i lift my glass to make yet another toast
and think about how many parts of me didn't exist in the past six months,
the past ten,
the past twelve.
these people were strangers,
my body was foreign,
income was a "what if,"
this place was not home.

we are not the final outcome of a life
but rather a collection of many.
a gallery of cocktails and bracelets and shared secrets and celebratory cups of coffee.
and this is all i strive for; the curated life.