we drove around for 45 minutes because you wouldn't go behind that tree. earth thanks you, i'm sure.

i'm thinking about the days spent walking under the gw bridge

breaking sandals

and scraping calfs.

i was too lost in my own self agony

to enjoy the sun.

soon enough i'll get a second chance

at sharp grass & honeysuckle.

i promise i won't get mad

at being stuck on a broken dock

while you sip pbr

and we welcome the first chill of a dying summer.

i promise that my mind won't be anywhere

but in edgewater.

happy birthday, self.

here's to another year of life.

a circular stream of speckled prophecy. read: a birthday-induced two am. ramble

my room smells like the winter of two years past.

the bathroom-like my sister's maturity.

today i stood up for the first time

and realized how old i was.

with every inch that my spine uncoiled, i gained another year.

staring at her fridge, she reads my mind.

"that was fifteen years ago," she reminded.

it scared me to think that i can say that,

that i can remember something that happened fifteen years ago.

i'm having a mid-mid-life crisis

because i'm slowly remembering that i have expectations.

i have things that i want to do,

i have goals. 

craig and the sensual seahorses reunion tour.

we built our own world;

it was entirely too perfect for it to come from anywhere other than our minds.

i can imagine everything clearly.

the blues and grays,

the biting wind and sharp stinging.

everything was a mess

and everything moved about us in swirls.

we moved it all.

i sat at a desk in a room half-remembered from a dream

but couldn't place its' roots in my mind.

i know those bland walls

and the harsh lights.

we found exactly what we weren't looking for

on blank, cushioned cubes

listening to the whistling

of an already dead woman.

you asked if i wanted to dance like they were

and i said no, not being sure of your sincerity.

i can never be certain of your intentions,

but i want you to know

that the answer is always yes.

fate of the silly bandz.

we're getting older.

you can see it in the way that we talk about tomorrow

or get through today.

the art of criticism has been mastered

but we're still learning how to take it.

we've started to create ourselves

just now realizing that we can shape and mold,

form and plan.

we've migrated from couches and basements,

to spend time with the trees-

lost in the woods

looking for nothing but oxygen.

we question the usage of exclamation points

and doubt the sincerity of kindness.

trading in our rainbows for the grays of contentment,

there's a slight struggle,

but we give in

knowing this this is all inevitable.

how interesting to realize

that one day

wearing a seal-shaped rubber band on my wrist will not be appropriate.

mezcla

i know you're reading this.

i'm late night blogging

like a sleep-walking writer.

people make bets with themselves all of the time.

this was mine.

the sweater.

october 2008

june 2009

january 2010

chelsea lately re-runs

i need to find someone

to go exploring with at two am.

i guess it's obvious

how content i am.

two posts is a bit obsessive.

i rarely ever do this, but i have thoughts.

i was thinking of sending a facebook message, but felt that it lacked an impact.

i watch myself from both the outside and inside at all times.

i imagine that whoever is watching me make make the umpteepth bright eyes video for you is getting bored.

i wonder when i'll tire from it.

what's your life soundtrack?

this is my assumption that you play one for yourself everyday, like i do.

i think this is why we mesh.

we're seeing a show when i get home. anyone, anywhere.

i think we've created a new element.