the last round

i never felt alone or smoothed down glitter-spheres onto paisley boards;

i guess that's the biggest change.

cool air reminiscent of september reminds me

that this is both an end

and a beginning.

roll of the eyes, cliche smile

chocolate-dipped like my spoon

honey-buttered like chicken.

ebb and flow

ebb and flow

you leave

and he or she will arrive;

bright, fresh, smooth clay

waiting to be pressed

like cotton marshmallow bags.

you mean so much to me, i convey

with meaningful stares

and purposeful exit music [for a film.]

indeed, i have grown

but i feel like the same person.

aging begins

i close my eyes and slip into the abyss

of you and me and everyone we know.

so tumblr.

miss you, old friends.

pooling

with cupped hands i carefully balance oceans and skyscrapers, grass blades and bayonets.

microcosms of the sub-conscious

we pretend that that we drowned these dreams long ago.

i'm soberly realizing that the only curb appeal of our house are the dixie cups stored

in the dusty bathroom dispenser.

wet feet grip the grime covered rocks on a beach you stood on two years ago.

heavily clouded and thick, we could feel that something had changed.

now we stand in front of versailles gardens and kitchen cabinets,

limes in our mouths

and fists in our chests.

falling in love,

we've learned,

is pluralized

and constant.

there is no beginning and no end

just a constant loop of meaningful embraces

and cotton covered laps.

with one last look at what i hold,

a breeze ruffles and the image shimmers

break apart and let the world drop.

synesthesia: navy

on a cold night in april

you eat free ice cream

and listen to an inebriated twenty-something

tell you that you're part of his brotherhood.

standing next to an assumed member of this underground vein,

you knowingly smirk at how he doesn't fit.

and neither do you.

nodding and interjecting at all the right places

the drunk wanders off, content to find some meaning.

walking back with your brother,

cold hand in warm hand,

you blankly realize that you envy him

for finding the purpose you've lost.

run and burn,

quench the thirst

every favorite picture involves blurred dancing

normal-sized numbers that should have been sub-scripted

a cup you secretly wished for being won

the phone left on a bed

an invitation to interview

gnawing reminder that you left the lights on in your room

the soft cotton of your boyfriend's jeans below your cheek on a lawn-nap.

the little things, he shared, are what make your day.

with a simple smile, 

and a thoughtful nod

you concur

with truth 

you had already known about yourself.

delta?

it's been too long.

i can see the blush washing off my skin,

leaving blue-gray stone

cool to the touch.

it's all normal.

effervescence

a fiery laugh

warm throats

and hot liquid.

all melting away like watercolors.

even a sunburn would be welcome.