leaving.

i wouldn't say i'm depressed, but perhaps i am. i hardly ever want to go out anymore

and when i do, i rather be alone. it's a strong possibility that i'm just trying to make it easier for myself in the long run- you know, that lie we tell ourselves that if  i distance myself now from everyone and everything, it'll make leaving easier. if anything, it just gives you more time to think about it. which is terrible for one who over-analyzes everything with a fine-toothed comb. regardless, i find it bizarre and paradoxical that i'm criticizing and diagnosing myself, hence why i deny believing that i am, in fact, depressed.

i wonder who ever deemed happiness as being the "norm". who's to say that our perpetual emotional state is one of euphoria and utter joy? aren't, for the most part, people upset or struggling? it confuses me as to why people find it shocking and a red alert when one falls into a depression or sadness. isn't it normal?

i suppose i just hate when others feel the need to "fix" things that don't need fixing. sometimes things are just supposed to be worked out on their own, with time.